Grieving is a natural response to loss. People grieve when they encounter loss of someone or something that has died to which a bond and affection or special connection has been formed.
Grieving follows when a close friend or family dies, a relationship ends, a pet dies, an opportunity or life goal closes to us, or something similar.
As much as people want to avoid grief, it’s just a normal and inevitable part of life.
Here are ways for you to grieve without causing more damage to yourself:
1. Allow yourself to grieve
It’s okay to let it out. Many people choose to suck it up and move on forgetting to relieve themselves of the trauma and emotional strain that a loss had given them.This trauma can cause someone to have panic/anxiety attacks in the future.
You don’t always have to look brave. You don’t always have to look strong. Strength can come from your standing up again after grieving. And not exactly avoiding grieving altogether.
Instead of relieving yourself from the stress little by little, it could come out as a destructive surge of emotions; that mix of anger, frustration and grief all in one time.
Let it out little by little. It’s like opening a safety valve to release some pressure little by little. By choosing to keep this safety valve closed, it could result to a violent and uncontrollable explosion.
2. You don’t need to hide it
Grieving isn’t a bad thing. Like it was mentioned earlier, it’s a person’s natural response to loss.
Accept help and support when someone offers it.
Hiding it may only let you drift to a destructive behavior. Don’t be afraid to invite a friend for a drink. They can help calm you down and keep you off the dangerous courses.
Instead of denying your feelings, listen to your needs.
3. Don’t rush
Don’t put a time limit on yourself. Every person has their own comfortable pace. If you see how fast someone can get over a loss, you don’t need to match their pacing. It will sacrifice your physical and emotional recuperation.
Take whatever time it needs, rather than giving yourself a deadline for when you should be ‘over it’.
4. Remember to take care of your body
You need to rest and recalibrate. To the extent that you’re able, rest your body.
Some people who grieve tend to drown themselves and work too hard to distract themselves from the pain that grieving comes with. Take time to lay your tools down for a while and lie down. Drink some coffee and watch some TV or read books that can help you with the grieving process.
Take a warm and relaxing bath. Take time off work if it’s possible. Try to avoid taking on new responsibilities or making major life decisions for a time.
Eat healthily. Maybe grab a meal at your favorite restaurant. Be particularly attentive to maintaining healthy eating and sleeping patterns. Start an exercise routine if you haven’t got one yet.
Make a journal. It’s one of the most common emotional therapies for those who are under too much stress.
These simple tasks may be simple, but they can help you in calming your mind down.
5. Get Support
Surround yourself with your family and friends. Surround yourself with positivity. Talk regularly about your grief and memories with someone you trust. Tell those around you what helps you and what doesn’t. Most people would like to help if they knew how.
Plan, and allow yourself to enjoy some GOOD TIMES without guilt.
If you think things are getting out of hand, see a counselor. Join a support group—there are hundreds of such groups and people have a wonderful capacity to help each other.
Most people think that acceptance is forgetting the loss or being “okay” with it. That isn’t the case.
But if you think about it, most people aren’t okay with the loss of a loved one. Acceptance is simply accepting the reality that a loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is a permanent reality.
Learn to continue living with this new sensation brought by this reality. It is the new norm with which you must learn to live.
As much as people try to make things like it used to, in time you’ll see that you just can’t maintain the past intact.
Learn to recognize roles and re-assign them to others or take them in yourself. You can never replace what has been lost, but you can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, and new interdependencies.
Begin to live again, but you cannot do so until you’ve given grief its time.